Values
If you are one this skills page, you may be struggling with a lack of meaning or motivation.
You might feel confused about what's important or what to do next.
Connecting to your values, or what you care about most deeply, can increase life vitality and help you make difficult choices in daily life.
Explore skill descriptions and videos below.
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Values Compass
Our personal values can provide a direction to travel when we are feeling lost --Like a inner compass that we can look to. Consider your deepest values in the core domains of your life. Imagine these values are on a compass, and that they point you toward North. If you were living by these values, in this moment, what would you be doing? How would you treat yourself, others or your body? What is traveling "North" in this moment?
Who or What Matters Most?
It is easy to get swept up in the daily stresses of life and forget what is most important. Before we know it, our life is gone. Take a moment to slow down and consider: Who or what matters most to you in this world? Really consider that question. Maybe close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, and see if you can bring who or what is most important into your heart.
Commit to ACTion
Consider a few core areas of life that may be important to you (health, spirituality, connection to others, work, education, etc). Consider what actions would be consistent with those values - and commit to action.
Moving Towards Values
We often think we have to make big moves, but a move in the direction of one's values can be small. What is one small action that you can take now that is aligned with your values?
Turning 80
Imagine it is your 80th birthday: two or three people make a speech about what you stand for, what you mean to them and what role you played in their life. In a world where you could choose, what would they say?
Author of Your Life
You are the author of your life. You get to decide how the story is written - what you and your life stands for. In this moment, what do you want to be about -- what do you want to stand for? Take a moment to author a values statement. Perhaps start with "What I care about is..." or "I want to be a person who..."
A Moment of Vitality
Consider a past moment that was important or meaningful to you -- not "good" or "without pain," but meaningful. See if you can sense what made that moment important. What was in there that mattered to you? Were you being the kind of person you want to be? Living the way you wanted to live, in spite of difficulty? Can you name the value that was guiding you?
Inside Pain is Love
Inside our pain is information about what is most important to us. Consider your worst fears. Is there also something valuable or important in there? Is there something or someone that you care about deeply that is driving this fear? See if you can bring this caring into your heart and let it be the guide.
Know What
Matters
Deep in your heart, what truly matters to you? Write out a list of the first five values that come to mind, and then for each say, “I want to be a person who…”. E.g., “I want to be a person who is "present for their family and friends" or "treats their body with respect," and take a step in that direction.
Role Models
Think about someone who you look up to. Can you put your finger on the specific qualities they have that make you respect and admire them? Does this tell you something about your own values?
What's On The Other Side of The Coin?
When we have difficult thoughts and feelings, there is almost always something that we care about close by. For example, if we are experiencing fears of rejection, we probably care about relationships and being with other people. They are 2 sides of the same coin, and you can't get rid of the difficult thoughts and feelings without giving up something that you deeply care about. Right now, you might want to get rid of painful emotions or run away, but what would you be giving up that you care about?