Self-Compassion
If you are on this skills page, you are likely judging yourself harshly.
You may be criticizing yourself for feeling a particular way or for imperfections or perceived mistakes.
Self-compassion can decrease unnecessary suffering and increase our ability to take actions that improve our quality of life.
Explore skill descriptions and audios below.
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Skill Descriptions
Choosing Compassion
Sometimes we make choices that are in line with our values and sometimes we don't. It's easy to get stuck and "beat ourselves up" for things we did in the past. Practice letting go of the war against human falliability, and choose compassion instead. Imagine how you would treat someone that you care about deeply--really consider it. And now choose, in this moment, to treat yourself the same way.
Breathing Kindness
As you breathe, place one hand on your chest and feel the breath moving through your body. See if you can connect to the fact that you are living, breathing being that deserves kindness. Breathe in kindness.
Hold Gently
"If we want to nurture something we call it a flower. If we want to kill it, we call it a weed." What would it be like to call your experiences, your feelings, a flower? to hold your experiences gently and with compassion?
Imagine Another
Imagine someone with whom you feel love or compassion. Bring the image of this person into your mind's eye. Draw the outline of their face. Notice their expression and the sound of their voice. Feel the love and compassion that you have for them. Now, gently, see if you can offer the same love and compassion to yourself, in this moment. See if you can give it to yourself, like a gift.
Workability
Sometimes people think if they are "hard on themselves" then they will do or be better. Sometimes this works in the short run. The question is, does it work in the long run? and at what cost? What if there is another way? Could kindness be more effective... not only in helping you move toward your goals but also in making life more bearable?
Someone or Something You Care For
Is there something or someone that you take care of? Maybe it is a plant or a garden, a pet or a child. Notice how you care for that person or thing. Also notice that you are the caretaker of yourself too. It is your job to take care of your needs. To be kind and warm and responsive. You are the care taker and the one being cared for. See if you can care for yourself with the same love and support.
Self Compassion Break
(Audio - 5 min)
(from Kristin Neff)
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Compassionate Self Imagery Practice
(Audio - 16 min)
(from the Center for CFT)
Compassionate Circulation
(Audio - 9 min)
(from the Center for CFT)
Loving Kindness Meditation
(Audio - 9 min)
(from the Mindful Awareness Research Center)